Friday, May 6, 2016

Children's Book Blogging, Not Recommended Edition

This one tries (ineffectively in my opinion) to tie colors to a Christian tract.

But if I can identify one book that has consistently driven me mad, it's this one. A Thomas the Tank Engine book that is utterly irrational. Nothing in it makes sense. The story is that Thomas is driving the judge to the train show and encounters certain obstacles along the way.

One is a cow, which Thomas slows down for.

Another is mud: But for this obstacle, Thomas cannot slow down. WHY? He slowed down for the cow. It seems like he could slow down for the mud, he simply chooses not to. Why not explain why he chooses not to slow down?

Then he goes past a dog in a field.

Then we recount the obstacles that Thomas has passed: A cow, a log...

...Mud, a dog. Now, the formed three things did indeed seem to be obstacles. The final thing, a dog, was not in any way an obstacle, it's just something that the train passed. And it happens to rhyme with log. This sloppiness is infuriating.

And the final lines by the judge, "I like all the trains. You all are so fun. But the little, blue, muddy train is my favorite one." Fun? Is that what the judge is judging? How could one even judge their fun-ness just by looking at them? Nope--it's just a cop-out word to rhyme with one.

Lazily done, people, lazily done. It's these brand-name books that really can't be trusted.

Also, this one fell into (or was thrown into) the toilet several times, so I really don't like reading it.


Myrrh said...

I hereby give you permission to throw it away. Do it. Don't feel guilty. Tell me when you do and I will send Baby L a replacement train board book that isn't horrible and has never been in the toilet.

Miss Self-Important said...

The first one looks like the Angry Birds franchise adapted the Gospels.

Anonymous said...

Throw them away. It makes no difference that most of the books you don't like come from Nana Leopard.

Emily Hale said...

Throw away a book?! I'm not sure that's possible! What if we need a toilet-side book for, say, potty training?