On Apology

This afternoon, I hadn't yet made it out of my pajamas (I'm in the middle of final papers) and a friend of mine was at the door. My roommate let him in while I dressed up in some gym clothes. He has brought a cake and a card and an apology.

If politics and justice has to do with our ability as humans to make promises, then what happens when we break those promises? As in intense, at-all-costs conflict-avoider, I find apologies to be a violation of the "ignore embarrassing things" rule of which a friend of mine, who was raised in a posh upper-class home where they learned "manners" (manners in the sense of a conglomeration of duties imposed on you that must be strictly followed), informed me.

Apology, if we are allowing now for its existence, seems to be the interpersonal parallel to Catholic confession and penance--it involves the restoration to right order of a damaged relationship. Confession does this perfectly, while apology is a reflection of the process of confession.

Apology itself relies upon the innate human ability to enter relationships (and to make promises). Furthermore, apology recognizes the human ability to re-make relationships and re-build and re-establish what is broken. It acknowledges the necessary results of our limitedness in politics. We aren't perfect and apology is comfortable with that.

Perhaps apology is one of the most profound indications of the power and limitedness of politics. Politics can offer a degree of civilization, moving away from our wild, non-existent state of nature status. And yet the relationships of politics and society will inevitably break down and require attention. Apology allows us the means to continue on in this limited and yet useful community.