She loses me at the end, though, when it turns out that she's telling me (as a young woman) to settle while maintaining that for her to do so herself at this point would be tantamount to selling her soul. I don't buy that.
I also think it'd be worth looking more closely at the difference between settling and compromising. Is it that the latter is regarded as a healthy adult decision, whereas the former is depressing (though perhaps a prudent course?). Which one did Charlotte do when marrying Mr. Collins?
I thought this quotation was right on: "If we could choose, we’d choose to be in a healthy marriage based on reciprocal passion and friendship. But the only choices on the table, it sometimes seems, are settle or risk being alone forever."
It speaks to the most important question - how do you know whether you're a Charlotte, who should compromise/settle, or an Elizabeth, who should hold out for Mr. Darcy?
But the thing is, if you have a Platonic (but not platonic) understanding of eros, then you could never settle because eros is a surprise (and risk) and settling takes that away.
I thought what the article got right (and perhaps you get at this with your comment about compromising) is the fact that passion isn't everything (which is, perhaps, the modern unhealthy extreme).
2 comments:
sigh, sigh, all sigh.
A depressingly convincing article.
She loses me at the end, though, when it turns out that she's telling me (as a young woman) to settle while maintaining that for her to do so herself at this point would be tantamount to selling her soul. I don't buy that.
I also think it'd be worth looking more closely at the difference between settling and compromising. Is it that the latter is regarded as a healthy adult decision, whereas the former is depressing (though perhaps a prudent course?). Which one did Charlotte do when marrying Mr. Collins?
I thought this quotation was right on: "If we could choose, we’d choose to be in a healthy marriage based on reciprocal passion and friendship. But the only choices on the table, it sometimes seems, are settle or risk being alone forever."
It speaks to the most important question - how do you know whether you're a Charlotte, who should compromise/settle, or an Elizabeth, who should hold out for Mr. Darcy?
But the thing is, if you have a Platonic (but not platonic) understanding of eros, then you could never settle because eros is a surprise (and risk) and settling takes that away.
I thought what the article got right (and perhaps you get at this with your comment about compromising) is the fact that passion isn't everything (which is, perhaps, the modern unhealthy extreme).
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