Manliness and Making Out

In Harvey Mansfield's reflection on the hook-up culture (a review of the intriguingly named, "Sex and the Soul"), he notes that while people engage in "hooking up" [sometimes] looking for romance, "romance requires holding back," something that college kids aren't trained to do. I like the understanding of the hook-up culture as a thwarted spiritual urge (if, as the book argues, sex is a yearning of the soul).

Sometimes I have a hesitation with the line that women want relationships while men want sex. I'm sure that this is largely true. But isn't no-strings-attached physical gratification attractive to everyone, regardless of gender (I mean, excepting very virtuous people)? As Woody Allen evidently said, "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."

Goodness gracious, we live in tragic times: it seems to me that evangelicals' "purity culture" ought to encourage people to get married younger, and yet, people change so much during the college years (and the years afterward) in which they are determining and beginning upon their vocation, that you don't blame them for waiting a bit to marry.