I received a university email today, reporting a theft that occurred in my department:
"I am sorry to report that John Smith had his lap stolen from his office today. He had stepped out just long enough to get coffee from the Department coffee machine."
Sterns said, "Do you know him? You should email him and say something like 'I'm sorry to hear that your lap was stolen; that must make it difficult to sit down."
I think his first mistake, though, was to get coffee from the department machine.
4 comments:
What's surprising about this is not that Mr. Smith lost his lap when he stood up to get coffee, but that he hasn't found it again. I mean, how long can he go without sitting back down??
If only it were about a woman, you could tie this in with your post about pregnancy. All I remember about my mother's pregnancies when I was little is that I couldn't sit on her lap, cause she had none.
But it's about a guy, so I guess maybe the office coffee is just extremely fattening? That's another way to lose a lap.
I feel like losing one's lap, while not making it harder to sit down, would most certainly preclude a certain Mrs. Smith from sitting in one's lap, and that would be bad enough all by itself.
As someone who has made a lot of coffee for your particular department, I take great offense. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make good coffee when 1) the grounds come from an office supply store, 2) you have to keep up with your email and facebook, 3) you're underpaid, and usually hungover? I think it's rather good coffee, given the circumstances.
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