Sunday, October 26, 2008

On Marathons and East Coast Snobbery

Congrats, Stearns, on your baptism. Just remember: all the sins count now.

Next point: I think that "they" should hold marathons in rural areas, where people can run happily without blocking off the traffic. This way both the runners and the drivers will be happy. I think that there must be hundreds of thousands of miles where there are no drivers in the Dakotas and Nebraska and such places. I know that the runners must like to run near the pretty monuments (and the monuments are, indeed, inspiring), but we can make replicas and put them in the middle of nowhere and people can run around them there, like how "they" built the Parthenon in Nashville (I really don't understand that at all).

Additionally, who goes to watch a marathon? This seems to me to be a rather insipid and wasteful activity (not that watching CSI is a grand and lofty activity exactly). If I were to run a marathon, I wouldn't want people watching me. And I'm really not interested in watching other people do that.

Moreover, I have heard (not sure if it's true) that running marathons is bad for your body. I think that we need to begin to calculate the insurance costs charged to the American people by runners who run too many marathons (especially in cities, where the concrete must be very hard on one's ankles). I think that there should be a federal marathon tax and surgeon general's warnings on the sign up sheet.

1 comment:

Margaret E. Perry said...

Almost every state has a marathon--I saw a thing once about a guy who ran 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days, not even kidding.

also, they actually are super fun to watch--if you know someone doing it. Since the point is not winning or loosing everyone cheers everyone on--and the expectation of seeing your friend finish is thrilling. I watched the Philly one a couple of years ago, and it was brilliant, if only because we had so much fun with the rest of the crowd.

all that being said, however, I'd much rather run in the countryside.