On Being Oneself

JVS: try not to be someone else but emily.

I like this advice at a variety of levels. It reminds me of my grandmother saying, "Remember who you are." It also reminds me of the beauty of Christianity over and against pantheism--heaven isn't all of us becoming the same thing, but rather, more fully and purely ourselves.

This advice, due to the odd grammatical structure, says both don't be anyone but yourself, and try to be yourself.

It also brings to mind the New Testament difference from the Old Testament--we are now operating according to a law of love, a law that has been written on our hearts.

New contexts bring out things about me that I never knew and that take time to get used to. But there is grace and time.

Talking

Myrhh: If I'm friends with you on earth while talking constantly, I'd clearly be friends with you in heaven while talking constantly.

Thankfully, it is unclear who talks constantly from this quotation. Possibly we'd both be talking constantly. That is an understanding of heaven that I could get behind: all of us simultaneously talking constantly. Only, as we see in Animal Farm, even there, some will talk more constantly than others.

Krakow Quotes

As I feel very bad for neglecting my blog, but have no energy to write anything (don't worry, I'm keeping a "diary." About a thousand people have noticed and been intrigued. There need to be better words for writing than "diary" and "journal." It just sounds all too girly. Not that mine isn't), so I will give you some quotes from the trip. Somehow people on the trip have gotten the impression that I enjoy talking...

RH on the monks who got in trouble for talking at the dinner table. GW: "Yeah, Emily, I don't think that way of life would work for you." AM, a new friend from the trip: "Yeah, I don't think that vows of silence would be helpful for your spirituality."

Priest to me: "Where are you from?" TD: "Be careful what you ask--she can talk." ... Me to priest: "Yeah, I was so happy to get out of the rural area; I sometimes talk a lot." TD: "I feel bad for the cows." And a bit later: TD: "Sorry." Me: "What are you apologizing for?" TD: "You."

"Emily--what a beautiful name! I will have a daughter and name her Emily, and it will be funny." --Kasha

"Those are really nice earrings! Can you wear them to mass?" --David (he'd seen people get in trouble for being immodest...)

On Sassing Priests

I think you definitely, definitely need a blogpost – “On Sassing the Clergy.” Just had a good round with Fr. Dinosaurhead and I thought about what you said about the devil just makes you do it. Me too. So much so that my sister’s always telling me how shamefully irreverent is my attitude towards him. Just to recap – Protestant sister chiding me for showing no respect to the Roman clergy. The minions of the Whore of Babylon. --Sister Margarita



I'm fairly certain that it is our Christian duty to give at least particular priests a good deal of grief. The thing that men don't realize about themselves is that the need/love to be nagged a bit by women. And women need to call them out on things.

All of this relies on my argument (I think "assertion" is a more accurate word here, actually) about chivalry and flirting. There is a difference between men and women that ought to be delighted in. And we delight in this with priests, oftentimes, by sassing them.

My favorite, which evoked from from Fr. D a rebuke with the heel of his hand on my forehead, I can't actually remember the particulars of. I know it involved Frankincense asking a good question during Sunday school. And I remember that she didn't understand Fr. D's answer, so she asked him to explain it. And he misunderstood and instead of explaining himself, he simply repeated his answer. Lenore: "That's great pedagogical form, Fr. D. When someone doesn't understand what you say, just repeat yourself, and say it louder."

Probably another part of it is the convert element. When you convert to something, it is important to know all of the dirt up front. And you want to know the explanation, too. And then you have to tease the person who's explaining it all to you to make sure that they're telling you the truth.

On Chivalry or On Flirting

Chivalry is a touchy subject. It is touchy for women, because men who practice it sometimes don't display intentions that are, shall we say, pure. It is touchy for men, because they don't know if women want it or not (as if all societal norms should be or are determined by what women or anyone else want!). It is touchy for "other women," the sameness feminists (for whom all differences between men and women ought to be overcome) because it implies a difference. I think that this difference that chivalry implies is precisely the reason it ought to be continued.

So basically, I can open my own doors. I'm quite strong enough. I can also open and shut the door to my own car. In fact, I do this all the time with no help. I'm fairly certain that chivalry implies no inability on women's part, but rather shows a desire to serve (a fitting desire to serve, I think, as men and women ought to serve one another). It also points, through its affirmation of the division of labor, to a complementarity between men and women and to the dependence that they have on one another. It is the division of labor with an eye toward the whole that the different laboring parts point toward.

Not only do I believe in chivalry (its existence and that it ought to continue to exist), but I also believe pretty strongly in flirting. This flirting isn't limited to men and women of the same age. This could be controversial, but I think that all interactions between men and women include an element of flirtation, and it is good that this is the case. By this statement I don't mean that men should fool around with other women who are not their wives/girlfriend. I also don't mean the type of flirting that leads straight to sex. What I mean is that one's sex is relevant to who he is and to his conversation. Therefore, flirting is at least one way to acknowledge and celebrate that difference.

Note: I'm posting this while I'm gone, because I'm somewhat shy to say this out loud, but with Sr. Margarita's support, I'm brave enough to say it while I'm away from the internet.

Plus, I sometimes suffer as a result of my adherence to my principles.