A Diary of Early Pregnancy.5

--Have I mentioned that I sometimes accidentally called it my "first semester" of pregnancy? 

--14 weeks: Maternity pants are awesome. I'm never going back to regular jeans--they're like jeans with sweatpants on top. 

--I feel like I don't read fiction anymore--just pregnancy/birthing/baby-raising books. So far: 

A Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. Fine, but totally not crunchy, so not my thing. Also: definitely there's a lot of able-ism there. "Don't worry, you're baby won't have genetic abnormalities, but if he/she does, you can just terminate anyway."--It's not a direct quote, but the general idea. Once I hit that chapter, I couldn't read it anymore. So I didn't finish. 

HypnoBirthing. Totally crunchy. I mean, way out in left field. Way more my thing. There's no such thing as pain, just pressure. Let's call contractions, "surges." I find all of the redefining of vocabulary odd and unnecessary, but the whole thing is geared toward positive thinking, positive talking, and positive visualization of the outcome--you holding your baby. I love it, but I also realize that it's overly optimistic.

Birthing from Within. It's a bit more realistic--birth hurts, really bad, but you can do it.  It encourages you to hold ice cubes to practice pain tolerance techniques. I don't know if I like that idea--I don't really want to have any more pain than I have to. It also focuses a lot on birthing art, which I find uber-weird. I'm not going to paint any pictures of my hopes and fears about birthing, nor am I going to make a cast of my pregnant body. Maybe I would write a poem, but I'm not even sure about that. 

--Since I'm reading about birthing, these mass readings (below) were especially poignant for me. They remind us that God is with us even more than a mother is with her child. We're supposed to trust in him--even in the midst of labor. 

Reading 1IS 49:14-15

Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me;
my LORD has forgotten me.”
Can a mother forget her infant,
be without tenderness for the child of her womb?
Even should she forget,
I will never forget you.

Responsorial Psalm PS 62:2-3, 6-7, 8-9

R/ (6a) Rest in God alone, my soul.
Only in God is my soul at rest;
from him comes my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I shall not be disturbed at all.
R/ Rest in God alone, my soul.
Only in God be at rest, my soul,
for from him comes my hope.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I shall not be disturbed.
R/ Rest in God alone, my soul.
With God is my safety and my glory,
he is the rock of my strength; my refuge is in God.
Trust in him at all times, O my people!
Pour out your hearts before him.
R/ Rest in God alone, my soul.

Readng 2 1 COR 4:1-5

Brothers and sisters:
Thus should one regard us: as servants of Christ
and stewards of the mysteries of God.
Now it is of course required of stewards
that they be found trustworthy.
It does not concern me in the least
that I be judged by you or any human tribunal;
I do not even pass judgment on myself;
I am not conscious of anything against me,
but I do not thereby stand acquitted;
the one who judges me is the Lord.
Therefore do not make any judgment before the appointed time,
until the Lord comes,
for he will bring to light what is hidden in darkness
and will manifest the motives of our hearts,
and then everyone will receive praise from God.

Gospel MT 6:24-34

Jesus said to his disciples:
“No one can serve two masters.
He will either hate one and love the other,
or be devoted to one and despise the other.
You cannot serve God and mammon.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life,
what you will eat or drink,
or about your body, what you will wear.
Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds in the sky;
they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns,
yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are not you more important than they?
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?
Why are you anxious about clothes?
Learn from the way the wild flowers grow.
They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor
was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field,
which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow,
will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’
or ‘What are we to drink?’or ‘What are we to wear?’
All these things the pagans seek.
Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given you besides.
Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.
Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”