Pregnancy.2, Kid 2

20 weeks, continued

​We don't have a boy name--we just have a girl name. The up side of this whole thing is that the kid seems to be happy. When we told him it is a boy, he seemed very happy and said something to the effect of: I think God heard I was a brother so he made a brother so there would be two brothers.​

We had the priest give our baby the blessing for the child in the womb. It reminds me that the only "worth it" in all of this--the only reason that Francisco and I have kids (besides to care for us in our old age--for which a girl baby might be better suited) is to raise our children to know and love God. 

The ultrasound showed something small that they want to keep their eyes on--but are not worried about, etc. But this is stressful. I want everything to be perfect and easy for my kid, even though I know no matter what, it won't be! It's hard to hold all those truths together at once. 

21 weeks

My appetite is back in force. Whole chocolate milk? Yes please! Loads of black raspberry ice cream? Ditto. I declare myself better. 

​Baby kicks nice big kicks all the time, especially right after I eat and right after I lay down. I got to let Chester feel it for the first time--he was smiling through the kicks, then claimed it was me, not the baby (he thought I was pulling the wool over his eyes?). 

22 weeks

Basically back to pre-pregnancy weight, but shaped a lot differently. 

So many aches. My back has begun its pregnancy revolt; must start yoga. 

I felt the baby kick in response to my touches. 

Feeling the baby kick is the best/only good part of pregnancy. His little kicks are big now. (Also--I always catch myself referring to this baby as a girl. I can't get it through my head, despite our photographic evidence.)

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I think he's vertical now. I don't remember this bothering me before, but I get an upset stomach when he switches positions now. And when he's head up and kicking in my insides it doesn't feel great. 

​24 weeks 

Okay now gaining weight with great rapidly--too fast, make it stop. And the whole body is stretching to accommodate. ​

The baby kicks are nice. 

25 weeks

Feeling nauseous again this week--this isn't possible, right? The nurse warned that it might come back, but I've never really heard of this otherwise. Must eliminate stress. (Yeah right.)

I would like my birth announcement to be something like Princess Kate's:  “Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge was safely delivered of a son at 1101 hrs.” (I disliked that some people--not my family members--who announced Chester's birth appended the description that mother and baby are healthy or doing well or something like that. Besides a certain view of health that that entails [that health at birth is the essential thing and that that implies health through life]--we were neither healthy nor doing well. I guess the kid was ok after they suctioned the meconium out, but I was a wreck and had nearly died. Maybe that's a little dramatic, but not that much. I was probably a wreck for the next six months, although no longer on the verge of death. Anyway, "safely delivered" seems to imply that they're all alive and they've gotten the little bugger out of her and can face their new challenges. Just enough information.) Also I think I'll wait a dramatic week for the name reveal. 

​Oh, I think, but am not sure, that I've been having Braxton Hicks for weeks. I hope that's not bad. ​

26 weeks 

Back to worrying about weight gain. Theoretically I believe in trusting my body, but practically I'm such a rule follower that I want my body to conform to the rules. 

One of the things I crave when pregnant is shopping for dresses. Because I can't have new non-maternity dresses, I am suddenly obsessed with them and want to buy them all. So confusing. 

The woman who drew my blood for the glucose test asked if I'm excited for the baby. I really couldn't even believe that she asked this question--are some people really excited for the baby to be born?! I just said, "Not really--it's our second, so we know what we're in for." And then guilt--Am I a bad mom? Am I supposed to be excited? Why are we doing this, anyway? Are there people who are really unconflicted about birth and motherhood? Or are they just pretending? These are serious questions, people. 

Heartburn begins. 

27 weeks

​Lots of life stress mixed with pregnancy means I threw up for only the second time this pregnancy. Totally unexpected--and really truly delightful to puke in your office.​

My diet is now primarily chocolate ice cream and whole chocolate milk with occasional fruit. I've given up on vegetables. 

​Hemorrhoids! ​I only had them once last pregnancy and hopefully they aren't constant for the rest of this one because this is excruciating. Clearly switching to an all-dairy, no vegetable diet was a mistake. (You know I'm exaggerating, right? Yesterday I ate a bag of lima beans for lunch.) Each time I use my bowels, it's a little reminder of the pain and agony of birth that approaches, in which my nether regions will be split open and their contents revealed to the entire world. 

​28 weeks

Even though I haven't gained any in the past three weeks, the OB wasn't worried at all about my weight, which is such a relief. It appears that baby is growing just fine. ​

​He still needs a name. One problem--the name we both like best is the name of the child of our good friends who live here. And we just decided to stay here, ​so I'm not sure it will work. There is just no name that we're excited about at all. But we do have the perfect girls' name!

29 weeks

Baby is really growing. At least traveling while pregnant makes my pregnant belly hurt. Lots of Braxton Hicks--and reminding myself not to overdue it and have this baby early. 

30 weeks

He's suddenly gotten enormous and his kicks ripple across my whole belly.