Saturday morning started with a Q basketball game--intense to watch, and I yell the whole time. Focusing on improvements! He got to play on his best friend's team because they needed an extra player, which was a treat.
Lunch with Francisco, an art exhibit that included Blaze's school work, a college basketball game. (I've been following them remotely for a year and boy, in person is so much better.)
During the game, Q and Blaze played basketball (adorable) and tag. At half time I joined them for some fun.
I think that the EMDR is helping with my overwhelm and rage. I think it's getting less often, weaker, and shorter. I'm so very grateful and hopeful.
Yesterday I continued my work as furniture--drafting a memo and then revising it with feedback from six colleagues, all with different interests, and then discussing it with the subject of the memo. I'm proud of my work on this and enjoyed it more than any other aspect of being the furniture thus far.
And all day I felt like I was hung over from too much work and too little sleep. But I made it.
The end of the semester is racing near--not sure how to do everything left to do.
It wasn't raining during my lovely walk to work, but had rained--gray, wet, with flowers still hanging on.
Tons to look forward to today.
The boys entertained themselves last night with some impromptu crafts, after which we had spaghetti with wine. Q pointed out that we had all the components of a fancy dinner--wine, flowers, and a chandelier, so it occurred to us that we needed to light the candles, too.
Right now I'm reading to the boys two books: The Great Gilly Hopkins and Carry On, Mr. Bowditch. I understand now why I've never heard of Gilly Hopkins--that book has tons of cursing! And racism is an explicit theme, which is tricky to take up with kids. I mean, I explain racism carefully to my children, but it's hard to read a book in which one character is racist for a while before presumably she changes at the end. Anyway, we read about a character called Melvin in Mr. Bowditch last night. Blaze asked, "Is it the famous Melvin?" I wracked my brain for what he could mean. Then I realized, asking in return, "Do you mean Elvis?" He did.
Finally, in my furniture duties I pulled what is to mid-life me an all-nighter on a memo that I need to submit today after half a dozen other people give me feedback on it--I worked from the kids' bedtime till 11:10. Still, the work was very invigorating. I should have been a diplomat. (Also I get snarky when writing late at night. Sigh.)
See, it is unholy to be as bad at housekeeping as I am:
Similarly, older women should be reverent in their behavior,
not slanderers, not addicted to drink,
teaching what is good, so that they may train younger women
to love their husbands and children,
to be self-controlled, chaste, good homemakers,
under the control of their husbands,
so that the word of God may not be discredited.
Yesterday I got to do some of the really fun work of being furniture--advocating for good people. But I'm not sure if it will make a difference.
I brought beer and cookies to our department meeting. That did, in fact, make a difference.
Q had basketball and Blaze had piano. I sat in the waiting room during his lesson--it was good to see the way that the teacher gently pushes him to do better, even when he doesn't think he can do it. (As the person who sits beside him at home when he's practicing, I see that he performs much better for her than for me.) And seeing their repartee was just too fun--he confidently walked in and showed her his boo-boos from school that day, explaining in some detail the soccer collision that led to his scrapes. When she was trying to explain to him what an octave is, she asked him, "Why do we call it an octopus?" He replied confidently, "Because it is an octopus." That kid.
At home, he's working on a dragon-dinosaur city. We love his creativity.
Saturday morning was busy--we cheered Q on in his very first basketball game--extremely anxiety-inducing. At one point I yelled, "offense," which helped him realize he didn't need to be defending against his man. We headed to the library for armfuls of books. Then to Pizza Hut to redeem Blaze's book-it reward. Then to the grocery store to pick up snacks for my department meeting. Then home to watch my basketball team lose--but only by a little and to the best team of last year, so I guess I'll take it. (Friday night they were down by 18 so I stopped paying attention and then two minutes later they were within two and I regretted looking at my phone.) Below: the setting of the high school where Q's game was held.
The other day I made pumpkin bread. I need all the housekeeping points because this is a part of life in which I constantly feel inadequate. Last night I invented loaded mashed potatoes--we ate them with roasted broccoli, caramelized onions and garlic, and three kinds of cheese.
Then we watched King Kong. The boys were fascinated by the clunky monster.
Blaze lost his first tooth! A very exciting event. And had his first visit from (our family's very cheap) tooth fairy.
Also--his new one came in behind the old one, which was something I didn't know could happen. According to the internet this often resolves itself.
A lovely foggy morning. I really enjoyed my walk.
My phone appears to have changed the size of my photos without asking!
We watched Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954) in the evening. One kid was too scared, the other loves scary movies.
I had EMDR during the day. I guess I had a very small panic attack in the middle--suddenly after freezing in my office all day, before and after, my body temperature went way up. It's fascinating to learn more about the ways that the mind and body are connected. Francisco and I both think that my bad times are getting a little weaker and I'm able to move out of them a little faster. For that I am very deeply grateful.
To be honest, I was highly surprised about the election results--that the results were so clear relatively quickly. It was much less close than I anticipated.
After we voted, Q suggested that he give an exit poll to the other people leaving the voting. I thought this was really funny and shared it with my colleague who teaches polling. Her students are exit polling today and she invited Q to come and talk to them. Blaze (6) overheard me telling this to Q and said, "Ohhhh! I like exit polls!" "What," I asked him, "is an exit poll?" He answered, "A pole you slide down to exit!" Oh my gosh he kills me.
This morning on the way to school, Blaze mentioned that "that tree is shaved" (pruned or trimmed?).
And when I told him that he's really good at reading and when he wants to know what words say, he should try reading them before asking us. He replied, "The point is: I can read, but I don't like to read." This kid.
Last night I played tennis--I was the youngest so I was assigned to be teammates with the oldest--I assume she is in her 80s so she doesn't run. That meant that I was responsible for the whole back court and for all balls that she couldn't hit with one step, whether on her left or her right. So I ran and ran. The achievement of the evening--two *one-handed* backhands! Also, we lost the first set and won the second (only by one because we were all tired and agreed to that arrangement). I walked home in the drizzle.
Religious ed for Blaze, a day of total rest and recovery for Q (his second fever without sharing it with us in two months, which concerns me, especially since we all eat after each other and are guaranteed to share basically all sicknesses).
Evening mass--Blaze was thrilled that there was pizza afterward.
Folding piles and piles of laundry.
Oh--I spent half the night in Blaze's bed and at one point heard him giggling in his sleep. Totally delightful and totally Blaze. I've never met anyone who loves to giggle as much as he does.
I stumbled through Friday, just thinking about when I could get home, into my sweatpants and bed and never leave. Then I remembered--mass. We remarkably all made it, tired though we were.
I love the litany of the saints--and "For all the saints," especially the line, "We feebly struggle; they in glory shine." Relatable, to use my least favorite word.
Grandma left us a gorgeous centerpiece. Eating at out table now feels like a wedding.
Last night I slept and slept and slept. (I woke up for a moment to help the kids in the morning and then continued to sleep.)
In the afternoon we voted--preceded by some political family discussion. In a way, it's hard for me to vote for a woman who puts abortion access as a front-point of her campaign. On the other hand, I believe that a support for life means a support for all lives and for life at all its stages. And that includes the lives and safety of undocumented people and of people who are at risk in their countries of origin. And of mothers--I know a pro-life mother personally who was denied the care she needed after a miscarriage due to these terribly written and implemented anti-abortion laws.
Plus, I think that she won't attack the Constitution in the way that he has done and has promised to continue to do.
Finally, my conservatism says that the past can carry wisdom--that social practices and norms and habits and traditions can carry wisdom. We have to probe and question them, but starting with some deference. He prides himself in overthrowing norms in ways that are vulgar.
There is my political manifesto.
So we voted. Then we stopped for chocolates and to browse at an antique shop. Q couldn't finish his chocolate, so I thought he was getting sick. We walked to the football game, which was SO GOOD. Then home--indeed, Q is in bed with a fever.
Goodness we are all going in different directions this week--last night Francisco took his mom to a concert in another city, Q's best friend's mom (who is not only parenting and working, but also a student!) kindly drove him to basketball, and Blaze and I went to my favorite thing--we were invited to dinner at a fraternity. Blaze played with the other kids there, and I visited with students. I'm so grateful to get to know them better--and to receive their hospitality. Oh and we got to enjoy the unseasonable weather by eating and visiting outside.
While Blaze and I were walking home (1 car life), we ran into another student out for a walk. He walked us home, and we got to talk a lot more than we do in class--he told me about his MS diagnosis, which came up because he is currently delayed in accessing a medicine he needs. I was so impressed by my student--and learned from him just during a 20-minute walk. I'm grateful for small town, small school life.
