Wedding Reflections.5

We had a little bit of time to hang out in the parish hall before the wedding. At that point, we realized that we'd lost one of the little flower girls (who now calls me aunt)--I'd forgotten to tell her where to meet for pictures. She made it to the church just in time. That and finding a cup so we could have some water were our biggest problems. Well, that and the fact that I never found a moment, until late that night, to give Francisco his wedding presents.

I hadn't shed a tear at all until just before I walked down the aisle. I realized, when I was about to go down the aisle, that I hadn't seen my mother since early that morning. At that moment, the only thing I wanted was to give my mother a hug, but she was already seated in the front row. After that, I was just choking back tears. I was glad I had my father's arm to pace me (slowly!) down the aisle--I was only thinking, as I walked, how nice it was to see all my family and friends there smiling (I think I forgot to look for the groom!).

I think my and Francisco's favorite part of the wedding was the mass, and perhaps especially the music--our friend, Mrs. Lawrence, agreed to cantor. Since only some of our friends are Catholic and were familiar with the hymns, and since the wedding was small and the church was enormous, she was a bit like a soloist. And it was lovely (although I was slightly distressed because I had no hymnal, and so wasn't able to sing along). Francisco and I love the music we picked--Love Divine, All Loves Excelling and Ubi Caritas especially. Listening to Mrs. Lawrence sing was such a beautiful wedding gift.

It was also a treat to have a friend marry us: Fr. O.P. came up from a conference he was organizing in DC (he usually lives in NYC). His homily was wonderful, if not light and flowery: it was all about love as crucifixion (as if Francisco and I could even manage to be any more sober about marriage!). He said that the sacrament of marriage was instituted on the cross. And he even quoted T.S. Eliot's "Little Gidding": "A condition of complete simplicity / (Costing not less than everything)."

I looked out in the audience a bit (I guess you're probably not supposed to do that). It was wonderful to see so many friends--some arriving a bit late. Francisco must have glanced into the audience, too, because when he saw one of our friends, he was just fighting back tears for a while, too. And it was wonderful to be so close to the altar for the eucharistic prayer. After that everything's a blur--I remember Francisco struggling to get the ring over my knuckle; both of us were a bit confused when the priest told us to join our right hands; I remember that Francisco kissed me well when the moment was right (there was no "you may kiss the bride"); I don't remember walking back down the aisle at all--thankfully Stearns shoved my bouquet back into my arms.