Tonight, one of the communities that I'm part of in STL, the L'arche community, celebrated my engagement. After a wonderful chicken curry dinner, they prayed for me, sang a song of blessing over me and shared advice for me as I get ready for this new community living experience. In one sense, you wonder how a bunch of single people can give marriage advice, but it was the most profound advice, all emerging from their experience of life together.

They talked about how my mandate of knowing, loving, and serving God would be enriched by my knowing, loving, and serving Francisco. A said that as my time at L'arche is service now, I'm moving into a time where my first commitment will be to my family, and where serving Francisco will be one of the ways that I serve God.

They gave me three keys for marriage--the phrases, "I love you, "I'm sorry," and "Help me." I love the L'arche picture of mutual help: for instance, J works hard and often puts away dishes--but when he can't reach something, he quickly and unashamedly asks for help.

I'm humbled by the honest and genuine way they live in community, offering their strengths and their weaknesses to each other equally. It's quite a lesson for me: I tend to try to hide my weaknesses and struggles and pretend they aren't there.